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Help for “Cutting Ties” that are holding you back

“…The light shines in darkness; and the darkness comprehends it not.” 

It is so very unfortunate that the Biblical principle of cutting ties has been largely left unaddressed: As a result, I am certain that many have experienced tremendous unnecessary suffering.

At 17 I had a significant experience in my own life that impacted me for many years to come. You can read more about that here.

Even Jesus / Yeshua cut ties with unrighteous behavior as He was led by Holy Spirit.

They picked up stones to throw at Him, but Yeshua hid Himself and went out of the temple.

John 8:59

What was Yeshua’s response to the physical abuse that others were attempting to put on Him? He separated from it. Everyone knows that physical abuse can be horrific: But anyone who has suffered other types of abuse, or serious emotional trauma, knows that injury to your spirit or soul can be even more hurtful than physical abuse.

God has a plan for you

You saw who You created me to be before I became me!

Psalm 139:17 TPT

God has a plan for you: A plan that far exceeds anything that you could even imagine and He yearns to help you fulfill your calling.

Would you like to experience the freedom and intimacy with God that He offers but having difficulty connecting with Him? If so remember that He has already done His part: You just need to find the key that unlocks the door for you.

Sometimes our obstacles appear obvious but other times even we don’t really know what is holding us back.

Often it is God’s desire that you persevere and work through challenges: But other times God’s perfect will for you may be to cut ties and separate from what is interfering (past or present) with your relationship with Him.

Either way, it’s important to remember that cutting ties does not mean that you stop living or loving:  It means that, in accordance with the Word and Spirit of God, you no longer allow that negative influence to persistently distract you from pursuing God in a deeper way.

Helping you to identify what is working against you, addressing it, and discerning the will of God so that you can be all you can be in Him are some of the ways that we can help.

“Cutting Ties”: An uncomfortable concept to most American Christians

Many Christians would rather hold on to the past (even if it is unpleasant), and / or appease a bad situation rather than wholly embracing God’s ways. Statistics indicate that for many, relying wholly on God, the risk of upsetting relationships or venturing into the unknown territory of uncertainty is just too much.

To compound the problem, the Biblical principle of cutting ties is rarely even mentioned in Christian circles. So when it IS considered, superficial anecdotes such as “it isn’t THAT bad”, “this isn’t necessary, you’re already a new creation”, and other doctrines such as “honor commitments”, “turn the other cheek”, “forgiving 70×7”, “love never fails”, et cetera often intercept our thoughts; thereby creating confusion.

Of course, all of those are valid Biblical principles that should be appropriately applied to your life: And with those principles, it is important to remember that the Biblical principle of “cutting ties” with the past, unhealthy relationships, and other things that are holding you back is just as valid and should be given just as much consideration in these days; maybe even more.

Sadly, the reality is that even though the subject of cutting ties is usually left unaddressed in Christian circles, people still do it out of necessity.

Consequently, Biblical principles are not considered in the process and the sad result is real problems often arise that could have been avoided: Real problems that affect real lives and sometimes with substantial, life-long, and even eternal consequences.

Compromise = The Christian “killer”

…to him that knows to do good, and does it not, to him it is sin.

James 4:17

One of the biggest blockages that prevent people in the West from living the life that God has for them is the overwhelming influence of the spirit of compromise. Compromise is running rampant in America’s mainstream religion and God is growing exceedingly weary of it.

While the Bible does say that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, it also says that our very first priority should be to love God. Practically speaking, this translates to embracing the reality that God has set you free from your past and that your present and future also belong wholly to Him. Of course, the devil writhes at the thought of you living at that level of freedom and he will do everything possible to cause you to compromise the liberty that is available to you through Jesus / Yeshua.

There is an infinite number of ways and reasons that God’s people are attacked by the adversary: They all involve the devil’s all-out war against everything that is good. Still, it IS possible to love God, others, and yourself without compromising His plan for your life: And, the rewards are “out of this world”.

Being “born again” includes learning how to release the past

…that we might be made (into) the righteousness of God in Him.

2 Corinthians 5:21b

Some Christian Believers are (correctly) taught that being “born again” includes starting over with a clean slate. However, precious few are taught how to cut ties with negative aspects of their past in a Biblical and genuine way, so that they are able to experience the inner healing and wholeness that Jesus / Yeshua has provided for. The result is that God’s people often hold onto what no longer belongs to them (negativity) which creates very significant inner conflicts and other problems in their lives.

In order for you to be all you can be in God, it is critical that you learn to release and cut ties with past paradigms, mistakes, trauma, bad experiences, generational issues, memories, thought patterns, and other things that are interfering with who God wants you to be.

Break free from harmful relationships

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

God didn’t call you to be an isolationist. Still, when God calls you forth He expects your allegiance to be to Him and His ways. This reality can (and usually does) set you at odds with others who may not embrace the new life that God has given you.

Consequently, as you grow from level to level, at least some of your other relationships will probably need to be redefined.

Nurturing and protecting the destiny that God has for you may necessitate cutting ties with particular friends, family, or groups that are at odds with where God is leading you.

Cutting Ties with culture and world systems

Come out of her, My people, that you be not partakers of her sins, and that you receive not of her plagues.

Revelation 18:4

While God created us to live IN the world, He clearly does not want us to be OF the world.

While some of the activities that American institutions promote may not be “bad” in themselves, many of these institutions have become antithetical to God and His people.

For example, Bible-based fellowships are God-ordained: But when God clearly reveals a new and profound reality that He wants you to grow in, that an institutional church refuses to accept, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship. The same principle applies to all of “culture” including every “institution”.

Is God calling you to reexamine your relationship with the culture, institutional religious systems, family systems, educational systems, entertainment, sports, business, or other hindrances that would prevent you from being all God desires you to be?

It IS possible to live IN the world without being tied to it. There are numerous Biblical examples that demonstrate this for us.

A couple of significant, Biblical examples of “Cutting Ties”

There are numerous instructions and examples throughout the Bible of God’s people cutting ties with others: I have posted some of them here in this article. However, for me, there are two examples that seem very profound and applicable to our discussion here.

The first occurrence of cutting ties in the Bible that I would like to call to your attention is with God Himself in the book of Beginnings: Genesis. This is a story that you have probably heard countless times: But have you ever considered it in this light?

God had been in intimate fellowship with “Adam and Eve”. What did He do when they fell into unrepentant sin? He cut ties with them. God separated Himself from their unrighteousness.

So He drove out the man; and He placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Genesis 3:24

For those who know me, you know that I usually reference the King James Bible. Today I am making an exception. The following passages are taken from the New Living Translation.

The second example that I would like to offer regarding the Biblical precept of cutting ties is with the one hailed as the “Father of our faith”: Abraham. Do you remember what God told Abraham to do when God first called Abraham into relationship with Himself?

Yahweh said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you.

Genesis 12:1

In this case, Abraham failed to cut ties as God instructed and it caused him a lot of heartache and problems. After Abraham finally did separate himself from his family and past life, as God had said, things went much better for him.

The above examples are from Genesis chapters 3 and 12. However, even between Genesis 3 and 12, we have more examples of cutting ties. For one, God cut ties with Cain, and secondly, God told Noah to cut ties with the world in Genesis chapter 6: It’s all through the Bible.

Several additional Scriptures regarding “Cutting Ties”

The examples provided above are not unique. Following are several additional Scriptures that I am including to demonstrate that cutting ties with ungodliness is actually a VERY common theme throughout the Bible.

Psalm 129:2-4
Since I was young they have often attacked me, but they haven’t overcome me. The plowmen plowed on my back; wounding me with long furrows. But God is righteous; He cuts me free from the yoke of the wicked.

Psalm 101:4-5, 7-8
I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil. I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors. I will not endure conceit and pride.

I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence. My daily task will be to ferret out the wicked and free the city of the Lord from their grip.

2 Timothy 3:2-5
For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

Titus 3:10-11
If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them.  For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.

Proverbs 13:20
Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

Proverbs 22:10
Throw out the mocker, and fighting goes, too. Quarrels and insults will disappear.

Proverbs 23:9
Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice.

Proverbs 17:15
Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent – both are detestable to Yahweh.

1 Corinthians 5: 2,4-5
You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship.

in the name of the Lord Jesus. You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus.  Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.

1 Corinthians 5: 11
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

1 Corinthians 5:13
God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”

Cutting ties should be God based, not emotionally based

Jesus / Yeshua didn’t go around trying to alienate others but neither did He compromise righteousness or His relationship with the Father in order to appease them.

Cutting ties from an emotional or other fleshly motive can be extremely detrimental to you spiritually, relationally, and in many other ways. Sometimes it’s hard to honestly distinguish if your motives are in alignment with the heart of God: This is something that we can help with.

When cutting ties, there are several Biblical principles that should be considered so cutting ties should only be implemented under the guidance of Holy Spirit when there is a good, Biblical understanding of the subject.

With a good Biblical understanding, a good relationship with Holy Spirit, and a good support structure in place, by “cutting ties” with what is holding you back your life can be exponentially better, more fruitful, and God-honoring


…ask, and you shall receive, that your joy may be full.

Jesus / Yeshua

It is God’s desire that your joy is full. He wants you to be set free from all that is holding you back and He has made a way for that to become reality.

Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.

Matthew 6:33

One aspect of righteousness is living according to God’s will for your life. As one who believes on God, and is in relationship with Him, you were “born again” for a purpose: You have a destiny to fulfill. Part of that calling involves nurturing and protecting the life that He has for you.

You saw who You created me to be before I became me!

Psalm 139:17 TPT

If you are struggling with cutting ties that are preventing you from being who God created you to be, we welcome the opportunity to be of assistance.

These are just a few of the ways that Kingdom Realm Coaching can help. Click here for more

You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light,…

Ephesians 5:8

Contact us to see if we can be of assistance.

Parson Rayphe, DR
God’s Kingdom Realm

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